"Walking Behind Cherie" page 2

At the end of page one I left off midday on Sunday with the family in my room and trying to grasp the reality of the news about our 1st child, Cherie. The pediatrician had left long ago and not one of us knew the ramifications of what raising a Downs Syndrome child might be. Our first glimpse of help came when my OB-GYN came in to see me. By reviewing the chart he knew what we had been told. I remember that he sat at the side of my bed and said "treat her like a normal child". I'm sure that he had more comforting things to say but that one statement stayed with me for the duration of her life.
Soon visiting hours were over and the grandparents left. My husband Jon and I sat on the bed not knowing what to say. There was a heaviness that settled upon us and we just sat on the bed and talked about what her future might be. One thing we knew was that she was going to live with us!! The only way that would change was if she was so disruptive that our future children would not have the opportunity to live normal lives.
One very noticeable thing happened. The nurses who would stop in from time to time no longer came by. When one of the nurses' came in to take my blood pressure or take my temperature she would not look at me. Suddenly I became this obscure person the staff did not want to spend any more time with than was necessary. It was the beginning of the isolation I would feel many times in the future. That night I held my daughter in the darkness of the room nursing her and giving her all the love I had. I did not understand but it did not matter. She was mine and I would see to it that her life would be a good and happy life. In the darkness of the night I felt an overwhelming love for her and nothing else mattered. Together we slept.
The next step to face was a genetic test to make sure that we were not carriers of Downs Syndrome. Another frightening thought. Would all our children have this anomaly? Would I even be able to have more children if we were carriers. Such an uncertain future...................................................